The Thin String

There are some moments in life when we see how easy it is to die. It can be a near death experience or seeing another person die. Although we may intellectually agree that we won’t be here in this body for long, it is always shocking to see how near we are.


Two days ago we went on a sightseeing/snorkeling boat trip with 6 other people we have just met (it’s cheaper and perhaps more fun this way). Our first stop was the Seven Islands which is much recommended for snorkeling. We put on our masks and some wore their life jackets and we plunged into the glassy green waters watching the colorful fish of this coral heaven. After some time we either got cold or felt it was time to move to another spot and made it towards the boat. We saw one of our company, one of the two woman professors from Manila, little far from the boat but she gave a signal to the other boat that she’s OK and perhaps would be coming soon. When I got on the boat I dried myself and looked at her drifting with her orange life jacket on. I took my binoculars (by this time she was over 100 meters away) and said to the others on the boat “she doesn’t seem to move”. They said “she just said she’s OK, she’ll be coming soon”. But she was not moving!

After 10 or 20 seconds she still didn’t seem to move and I managed to make the other guys on the boat worry. At this the captain waved at the little fisherman near her to go and see and two guys from our boat jumped into the sea and started swimming. We were stunned to see her motionless when the fisherman reached her first and tried to pull her up. Pulling the anchor and untying the boat from the buoy took time but when we arrived they were still trying to pull her on the boat. I jumped and helped the two men lift her up. The German guy who had swam the 200 meters was a first aid instructor and he knew all the classical life saving moves like CPR and mouth-to-mouth breathing but I think we were too late. We took her on our boat and went quickly back to the port, meanwhile two guys giving her CPR and breathing. We put them on a tricycle and I started shaking like I’m having a fit. Fortunately someone from the crowd came and offered me a cigarette to cool me down. When I arrived at the hospital she was already declared dead.

This was my closest encounter with dying. I’ve seen more than enough drowned people during the summers of my childhood and I’ve witnessed some car accidents where it would be a miracle if no one was dead. The nearest I’ve been to a dead person was my grandfather who was dead at the age of 97 and I knew I’d see him like this soon anyway. But this time it was different. I had never touched a dead person and never really tried to save a life.

She was with us that morning, alive. Her friend made a joke that she doesn’t swim well but if something happens to her, her students wouldn’t miss her much because she’s very tough with them. We were sitting on the same bench and while we were enjoying the colorful fish and corals her time came and she left us. And she left us with her dead body.

Have you seen bodies which doesn’t have life in them? Not nice. But after all we’ll all be leaving this bodies and our bodies won’t look very nice. What am I talking about; I’m sorry to get carried away like this but I have to let this out and cleanse myself from it.

So once again I realized life is short and can end any moment. We really have to make good use of each moment we live and give thanks. Last time I felt this was exactly one year ago in Sumatra, when I almost drowned while tubing on a river. Those few moment under the pressure of the rushing water which kept me trapped against a tree trunk, I thought “hmm, maybe this is the end, but I don’t feel like it’s supposed to finish like this, and where’s Maya anway” and with one last effort I managed to save myself from the tree and go for Maya.

This past one year, I had many moments I’m very happy to have fitted into this lifetime. But there are also things that I could do without as well as things I keep postponing. I remember to give thanks at least few times a day (despite some sarcasm). When I feel I can surrender to the flow of life with no resistance I feel this is what I must be doing right then, and I count that moment well spent. But sometimes I’m just lazy and spend a whole day in front of the computer or I feel blocked because I’m trying to fit everything I do to the likes and wishes of the people I’m sharing it with and, being the free spirit that I am, it feels like a waste of life. I’m glad that at least “most” of my recent life has been well spent.

In India when I was in my hermitage alone for a whole winter (ok, not %100 alone or that much of a hermitage but close to it), I got this message that one has to be ready to let go of this life. Since then I keep reminding myself that I’m ready, I say "I'm ready to die". I’m thankful for all that I have lived in this body and although I have some future plans I’m also ready to let go of everything. This makes me feel light and free. It has kept me doing all these things I want to do. And now being 37, at the age I always thought I’d die (until a couple of years ago when I changed it to a different kind of dying) I’m more into closing accounts and being ready. I don’t have any great projects for the future. I’m not in debt and I don’t have kids. And I know life is very valuable. Each moment is so priceless we have to really be flowing to let this lifetime do its job on our souls and be ready when the end credits start to roll.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost,
The Road Not Taken

The Story of Garlic

This is one of my favorite stories of the Hindu mythology. It is a part of the greater story commonly known as The Churning of the Ocean of Milk (Samudra Manthan) which is the main creation myth of Hinduism. As is the case with all Hindu stories, there are many versions and this one is inspired from the version in the book The Greatness of Saturn – A Therapeutic Mythic by Robert E. Svoboda (to be published in Turkish as soon as I’m back in Turkey).


A long long time ago, before the universe as we know it came into being, there was the vast Ocean of Milk. The positive and negative forces of the universe, Devas (i.e. Gods or Demigods[1]) and Asuras (i.e. Demons[2]) were constantly at war (as they are to this day). As there is day and there is night, there were times when each would seem to be winning. But they were not yet immortal, and with each war their numbers were decreasing. Fearing that this might lead to the eventual destruction of all Devas, they decided to seek immortality.

After a very long quest, the Devas learned that the only way to create the elixir of immortality, Amrita (i.e. Ambrosia) was to churn the Ocean of Milk. But the ocean was so vast, the job so great that their numbers alone were not sufficient for this task. So they decided to seek the help of the Asuras. Together, they took the great mountain Mandara as the churning rod and brought down the snake Vasuki from heavens to spin it with. The earth could not support the weight and friction of the rotating mount Mandara, so the great god Vishnu incarnated as the enormous tortoise Kurma, and went under it. There was a dispute over who is going to hold which end of the snake and finally the Demons decided to hold the head, thinking that this will put them in a more privileged position at the end. But when they started churning by pulling Vasuki in either direction, the distressed snake started to breath flames and burnt many Asuras.


After many years of churning, the Ocean of milk started to turn into water and things started to emerge from it, such as the heavenly Parijata tree, which was placed in heaven, Kamadhenu, the wish fulfilling cow, and Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth and Abundance (about 14 in all). Just when all were getting impatient for the emergence of the potion of immortality, the ultimate Hala-Hala poison sprang out of the ocean. This poison was so strong that it could destroy whole life. Great Lord Shiva took all this poison in his mouth and held it in his throat, which turned it blue. From then on he’d be called Neelkanth, “the Blue Throated One” as the neutralizer of the ultimate poison [3]. Finally Dhanwantari, the Goddess of Medicine came out of the ocean holding a little clay pot containing Amrita.


When they saw the fruit of their hard labor, the key to their victory over death right in front of their eyes, the Asuras and Devas once again started to fight for it. It was an auspicious time for the Asuras ad in the end it was them who managed to carry it away, meanwhile dropping four drops on earth [4]. On seeing this, Great Vishnu transformed himself to Mohini, the most beautiful woman ever and went to negotiate with the Asuras. Blinded by her charms, they accepted to be fed the Amrita through her nipples and handed her the pot and in great grief saw Mohini transform back to Vishnu. But it was too late.


Delighted to finally be able to taste immortality, the Devas formed a line waiting for Lord Vishnu to serve them one drop each. All the divinities were there, including the planet deities. In their excitement they failed to see the demon Rahu disguised as a Deva sneak between the Sun and the Moon. After the Sun took his drop of Amrita, just when Vishnu dropped one in the mouth of Rahu, they realized he was in fact a demon and screamed in alarm. Vishnu quickly drew his discus and cut the throat of Rahu, thus separating his head and body. But Rahu had already tasted immortality and had become semi-immortal. The head which fell on the Sun became the Solar Eclipse (Rahu) and the body which fell on the Moon became the Lunar Eclipse (Ketu). To this day they keep these Devas under their curse but since they don’t have a full body, soon after they eat the Sun and the Moon they emerge on the other side [5].


Their blood fell on earth and wherever they fell, garlic grew. That’s why garlic creates eclipses in the hearts and souls of those who eat it [6].


Of course, all the elements in this story can be interpreted in many different ways and this has happened when this ancient story was carried and transformed between different cultures. One good interpretation I have found suggests the below explanation of each element:

- The story itself represents the spiritual endeavor of a person to achieve self-realization through concentration of mind, withdrawal of senses, control of desires and practice of austerities and asceticism.

- The Devas and Asuras represent the positives and negatives of one's personality. Their cooperation suggests that when one is on the spiritual path, one has to integrate and harmonize the positive and negative aspects and put both energies to work for the common goal or realization.

- The ocean of milk is the mind or the human consciousness.

- The Mandara mountain symbolizes concentration.

- The tortoise Kurma symbolizes the withdrawal of the senses into oneself.

- The snake Vasuki symbolizes desire.

- The Halahala poison symbolizes suffering and pain. This is also interpreted as cannabis and is the reason that smoking ganja is considered a spiritual practice for some Shivaite Hindus.

- Lord Shiva symbolizes the ascetic principle.

- The various precious objects that come out of the ocean symbolize the psychic or spiritual powers one gains along the way to spiritual realization.

- Dhanvantari symbolizes health and signifies that immortality (i.e. longevity) or spiritual success can be achieved only when the body and the mind are in a perfect state of health.

- Mohini symbolizes delusion of the mind in the form of (or originating from) pride.

- Amrita symbolizes the ultimate achievement of the goal of self-realization.

May this story help you on your path.

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[1] The Sanskrit word Deva (Divinity, God) is possibly the origin of the word Devil.

[2] The Sanskrit word Asura (Demon) is possibly the origin of Ahura Mazda, the name of God in the first monotheistic religion of the west, Zoroastrianism.

[3] Some versions suggest that later he gave this poison to snakes, scorpions and mushrooms. Some also believe that, this transformation of poison to spiritual power is reflected in the ritual use of cannabis plant.

[4] These fell to Haridwar, Allahabad, Ujjain and Nasik, where the greatest spiritual gatherings of humankind, the Kumbha Mela is held every 12 years, where millions gather in search of the one drop of immortality.

[5] After this, they took their place among the 9 planets of the Hindu system, the Grahas, along with Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn. They are the most malefic and the most feared planets after Saturn and they are semi-immortal as they appear only occasionally.

[6] One of the reasons why most yogis and some other religious people of India do not eat garlic.